she mad at mommy!

Well I got there very late around 3pm. Normality I carry her around 12pm or 1pm.
OK so I didn't get to do that so I mess up the routine with her (bad mommy).
Well she was mad. Her sat was bad she was not happy at all all day. So I tell the day nurse to tell the night nurse that I will kangaroo at night time.
well I didn't get to do that because the nurse was busy until 9:20pm.
As soon I got to hold her she got quiet. the stat was good, the nurse was impress. She was bad all day. I try to tell them she mad at me. Thy wanted to give her pills so she can relax her, I say no she just mad. Thy explain that it will be good for her if she relax so she can go to sleep and grow etc. RT guy say she having like cardiac arrest. Moore like hart attack episode, little one but thy will monitor for her high hart rate she getting. It us to be from lows 130 to high 175 on the hart after last time, know is from the lows 178 to 220. Wish I don't know what is going on with her hart.
Tomorrow will see haw she will handle again the c-pad wish is schedule for Tuesday or Wednesday.
Hopefully she will take it this time. I just have allot of friend that meet at the NICU that gone with there baby this wk.
I just wish that going to be us one of this day soon!!!! but I just wish them well. It least I just got 1 Moore left that area left wish we lough allot cry with our problems, so thanks "T" for being a friend to this journey we have with our baby.
I just need faith to do well this wk.